Akkenai
by Izume Hope
Summary: A few years after the aliens left Ichigo goes undercover to find out whether Kisshu is really alright. KxI one-shot


There weren't many people out on the streets. No wonder, as it was growing late and starting to rain. It was that moment of the day where the evening rush-hour was already over and everyone was at home having dinner, except for some men and women who had had to finish something and were now on their way home. The evening fell onto the streets slowly but inevitably as those few people rushed home with quick steps, hoping not to get caught in the rain.

There was only one girl walking slowly. She wore a long dark coat with a hood that hid her face and was holding up a black umbrella. People looked at the thing strangely. It was clear that they didn't know the concept of an umbrella here yet. The girl told herself not to forget to mention this when she got back home.

God, she was far away from home.

She wasn't suffering from homesickness, that wasn't it. It was just that now she was this far away from the place she was born, light years far away, it felt as if the connection between her and that place was thinner. Also, she felt so at home here. She knew it was because of the Mew Aqua that was all around her, the source of her powers, that she felt like this. As if she belonged here. With every breath she took up more of that peculiar feeling. It was a little disorientating. Maybe that was why she was walking so slowly. She still wasn't used to this planet's gravity either. She's only arrived this afternoon.

He didn't know she wa coming. She hadn't told anyone but her closest friends and clasped them to their hearts not to inform him or his friends. She wanted to be able to see him in his everyday life, not in the way he wanted her to see him.

She just wanted to be sure he really was alright.

It started already a few months after he left. And while her relation with her boyfriend grew less powerful the feelings grew more powerful. She kept wondering why she did what she did. Why she didn't want to understand him. When it was happening she truly believed she was trying, but when he'd left she realised she hadn't. She didn't want to face the truth, his feelings for her. If she did that, things would get far too complicated for her to handle. She was only thirteen back then! She doesn't really blame herself from handling the way she did, but that doesn't keep her from wondering.

Could she have eased his pain?

She has no idea how she would have done that, but could she? Could she have taken away a little of his suffering? That's when the new questions raised.

Was he still suffering? Could she still try to ease it? Now she had realised his feelings, was it not yet too late to try and help him? To ease his pain, even a little?

Now, she really wasn't doing this for herself, although she thought she was. She thought: I'm only doing this to clear my conscious. But that was only the part of her that was still denying her own feelings. She was actually doing this because she didn't want him to be in pain. Not only not because of her, but because of nothing. She'd do anything to make sure he wasn't in pain. And the thought she might cause him pain on this exact moment was simply unbearable. When that feeling had grown strong enough she decided to go and see for herself. Who knew, maybe he had gotten over her quickly and wasn't in pain because of anything at all. Maybe he was the happiest person on the entire planet. She didn't know. But she wanted to know. So she went away to check it.

That's how she ended up right here, on these streets. She had his address and knew where she had to go, but now she was so close she was getting a little nervous.

What if he hated her? What if he didn't want to see her at all? What foolish questions, it was not like she was going to give away her identity immediately… Maybe she wouldn't give it away at all. Maybe she'd just come and go without him knowing it was her. If he was happy, she would. Maybe she'd stay with him for a while, easing his pain, without him knowing it was her who was easing his pain. Just to make sure she wouldn't have to face his feelings for her, whatever they might be now.

If he hated her…

No, there was no point worrying about that. She shook her head and quickened her steps. She just had to go and face the day, she knew that. She had no choice. She'd come this far… and she just had to see him! She just had to know whether he was happy! That's all.

Why did she turn away back then in the first place? It was so stupid… He had reached out for her, empty-handed. And what did she do? She played dumb and cried at night. She must have terribly hurt him… And now she was atoning for that.

Eventually she arrived in the street where his house was supposed to be. She was surrounded by tall flats, skyscrapers, actually. She stopped in the middle of the street and took out a little paper. The ink had bled and the letters had become almost unreadable, but that wasn't such a problem because she knew the address by heart. She looked up to a skyscraper on her left side and took a deep, irregular breath.

This was it.

It took her a few minutes to move towards the entrance and walk in through the automatic sliding doors. The entrance hall was silent, there was no one around. She knew the job of being behind the counter was already taken over by computers, so it didn't really surprise her. She walked towards the counter and waited for a bleeping noise.

"Welcome to the Olive-skyscraper number seven-three-nine. What is your reason of visiting?". The girl looked around for a moment and then climbed over the counter. The computer didn't notice. She squatted down behind the counter and opened a drawer. There she found a lot of wires, red, blue, orange, purple. She took hold of a blue one and connected it with an orange one. "Reason of visiting confirmed. Enjoy your stay in the Olive-skyscraper number seven-three-nine".

The girl jumped over the counter again and took the card that the computer spit out. With the card she walked to the elevator, where she held if for an identity checking machine. The elevator doors opened without problems and she walked in.

She was the only person in the elevator. As said before, everyone was having dinner by this time of the day. She took out the little paper with the bled ink again and then pushed a button on the wall. The elevator started moving upwards.

She was getting more nervous with every floor that passed by. She was still holding up the umbrella, carefully making sure it blocked her from the security camera's sight. She had thought of everything. Eventually she reached the floor underneath the top floor. There she got out of the elevator and walked to a toilet. In the toilet she changed her clothing to the standard uniform of the maids here and wrapped a grey cloth around her head. She'd heard from Pudding that a cloth like that worked marvellously with a disguise. With another deep breath she got out of the toilet again and stepped into the empty hallways. She continued her walk towards the stairs next to the elevator and began to climb to the top floor.

That's where he lived.

The moment she reached the top of the stairs she was standing in front of a door. Yes, the entire top floor was his. He was rich, of course. She took out her card from downstairs again and held it up in front of the identity checking machine. The door opened with a soft click. This way she didn't have to ring the bell. With the card in one hand and her wet umbrella in the other she entered the top floor. She was standing in a business-like hallway. There was a drawer with a mirror above it, the walls were painted grey and there were a lot of doors. That was it. The girl blinked and took some other steps. She put the umbrella down next to the drawer and put away the card in the pocket of her costume. As she gulped, she walked to the first door haphazardly.

This was it.

Her hand moved towards the door latch and as her fingers encircled the cold metal she shivered. With that she pushed it down and opened the door.

Closet.

She let out a nervous laughter, releasing a bit of the tension, and closed the door again quickly after glancing at the contents. He didn't have many coats and hats.

She moved on to the next door and opened it without hesitation this time.

Toilet.

A little impatiently she closed it again and walked quickly to another door. This time there must be something… right? And yes, as she opened the door she walked into an enormous kitchen. It was unbelievably clean and looked as if it had never been used. He didn't seem the type to cook at all, so she could imagine that easily. She walked inside and after looking around she opened the fridge. As she thought, almost empty. Only some milk and pickles. She didn't even know he liked pickles. O, and ice-cream. Strawberry. Her favourite. She smiled.

After she had closed the fridge she walked to another door on the right side of the room and opened it. She was standing in another hallway, smaller this time, but just as business-like. She set foot in the hallway and walked immediately to another door. As she opened this casually, thinking it might be the stocking closet, she froze in the doorway out of shock.

It was the dining room. On the table was a filthy plate and a little pan. She relaxed a little again when seeing he wasn't present in the room himself and walked over to the enormous table carefully. The light was still on and she could clearly see that one of the chairs had been moved. She slid over the wood of the leaning with her fingertips and looked at the plate.

Pickles. He had eaten some pickles.

She chuckled softly and told herself to tell him he had to go to the grocery store. With that she moved on to the next door. She opened this one carefully again. That turned out to have been a smart move. She was standing in front of the living room, lit by only one lamp. There was a flat screen, a coffee table, a lot of enormous windows and a couch. And on that couch, one of his arms hanging over the edge on the ground and mouth a little open, he lay, sleeping.

The girl stood in the doorway for another few minutes and then walked towards him. She could see that it had really started to rain through the windows. As she walked towards him, making sure not to wake him, she held her breath. She stopped right in front of him and sat down on her knees so she could look at him more closely. His eyes were shut tightly and his hair was a mess. He had gotten rid of his pigtails, she noticed, and cut his hair a little shorter. It was still pretty much the same length as hers, but still. She examined his pale face with her head crooked and found some little scars on his face.

She didn't notice how his hand twitched.

She had a little smile around her lips and found that there were actually tears in her brown eyes.

Boy, she'd missed him… And to be able to see him here, like this, in such an unguarded moment, was like a dream. He looked so vulnerable like this, like such a child… As if he'd break to pieces if she touched him. Nevertheless, she felt the strong urge to reach out her hand and touch his face. To strike away some hair form his eyes, caress his cheek, anything. She hadn't felt like that for a long time and it scared her. But she couldn't get herself to move away from him. She had to look at him. Just to look at him.

His hand twitched again.

She couldn't even move up her hand to wipe away the tears from her face. She could only let them run down her cheeks and then fall off her chin to the ground.

Right on his twitching hand.

It took only a minute for him to begin to murmur and his eyelids to tremble. She blinked in shock and backed off a little, seeing her tears on his hand and cursing. Quickly she now wiped away her tears and stood up. She looked around panicked and eventually took out a piece of rag with which she began to brush the coffee table. If she just acted like she wasn't doing anything wrong…

Behind her she felt him waking up and heard him shooting up when seeing her. His eyes must have been widened in shock, but she couldn't see. She had turned her back on him and was busy with the piece of rag and the coffee table. He relaxed again and turned to sit on the couch. "What are you doing here?" he asked, still a little disorientated and sleepy. She shivered under his well-known voice. "Cleaning, sir". She could only hope he didn't recognise her soft voice, which he didn't because of his absent-minded head. He moaned a little and she glanced from the corners of her eyes to see what he was doing. He took his head in his hands. "Do you have a headache, sir?" she asked, not able to keep herself from doing so. "A little…" he murmured as an answer. With that he sighed and stared out of the window. "It's been a long day, again. Sometimes I wish I wasn't this rich. All these obligations and all this work… Gives me a headache". "Maybe you should take a day off, sir, get some rest. Your health is very important too, you know".

The boy blinked and looked at her back in suspicion. He didn't recognise the maid. That wasn't something very special, as there were so many of them he could never remember all of them, but there was something peculiar about this one… "What's up with the cloth?" he asked. The girl smiled without him knowing. "Fashion, sir. I like it". "Ah" he answered politely. Then he sighed again and stared out to the rain. Meanwhile the girl kept cleaning the coffee table, although it was actually pretty clean already. She didn't want to turn around and face him, scared of the consequences it might have.

"Finally a little silence…". The girl didn't react on this, still acting as if she was an obedient maid. "There are too many people around me nowadays. It feels like I'm never alone. Only at night…". He lived alone, then. What about his family? Did he have any family anyway? She never asked him… She never asked him anything. She was only… running away from him… The girl could clean the coffee table with her own tears. Speaking about tears, the boy behind her brought up his hand to his face and looked at the almost-dried tears on his hand in surprise. Tears? What did those tears do there? Did that maid…? He looked at her back again, the way she sat there, cleaning the table. A vision came to his mind. A girl in a dark pink maids costume with red hair and brown eyes, cleaning a table in a little café. He shook his head to get rid of it.

Another vision came to mind and he moaned. "Damn it… I have to go to a party tonight…". "Do you really want to go?" the girl asked carefully. "No, not really, but I promised someone I'd be there". "Your girlfriend?". There was a little edge to her voice now. He sniggered, something that took her breath and filled her head with memories. "She'd wish! Everyone would wish! But they ain't going to get their way from me!". "What do you mean, sir?". He snorted. "You haven't heard about it? Do you live underneath a stone?". The girl remained silent. He sighed. "They want me to pick a girl. Good for my image, seemingly". "Who are they?". "My parents. My agent. My advisers. But they ain't going to get their way!". "Why not? There must be a lot of very lovely girls out there…". "I've only wanted one girl in my life. If it isn't her, I want no one". His voice was sharp. The girl froze on her spot. For a minute she couldn't speak. She could hardly breathe. She just stared at the rag with widened eyes, tears still dripping out of them. Then she smiled through her tears. "I'm sorry, sir. It's none… it's none of my business". "No, it's not…" he murmured as he leaned back on the couch "It's no one's business… This is something between her and me…". "Who is she?". He looked at her in surprise. He could still only see her back and again the vision came to his mind. His suspicion had gotten to its highest point. Slowly he sat up straight and stretched out his hand to the cloth around her head as she continued to speak. "I'm sorry for being rude, I'm just curious. You don't have to answer me if you don't want to". She stopped cleaning the table and bowed her head a little. "It would mean a lot to me if you told me, though… sir…". "Who she is?" he whispered, his hand almost touching the cloth. "Yes" she whispered in return.

Within one swift movement he grabbed hold of the cloth and pulled it off her head. The girl turned around in shock, revealing her teary brown eyes as her red hair fell down her face. His mouth fell open a little and for a moment they stared at each other. He shocked, she entranced. Those eyes… Those beautiful, beautiful golden eyes…

"I knew it was you…" he then whispered. With that he threw the cloth over the back of the couch and stretched out his hand towards her again. She couldn't move away as his fingers closed in and touched her cheek. She couldn't even stop her own tears from falling. They sat like that for precisely six seconds. Then he let himself fall from the couch onto his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Ichigo…" he said full of emotion "You're here… You're really here…". The girl took some irregular breaths and started to sob. She returned his embrace and sobbed. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I never meant to… I'm sorry! I came to, to help you… And just to check on you, but, but… I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Kish, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have turned away from you! I've been such a fool and I never meant to hurt you, really! Please believe me, I never, never… I really am sorry! I can't believe I actually…". He only smiled with closed eyes. "Hush, kitten. Just hush". Slowly Ichigo calmed down again.

This was twisted. She came here to make sure he wasn't in pain, right? To ease his pain if he was? And now here she was, crying on his shoulder. Why was she in pain? That didn't… it didn't make sense at all! How come she was the one finding comfort in his embrace, instead of the other way round?

He loosened his grip a little so he could look at her face. One of his hands moved up to wipe away some tears with his thumb. She felt terribly lost and safe at the same time. It was confusing. He smiled. "Don't look at me like that. You look as if you're confessing to a murder". Ichigo let go of him and rubbed with her fists over her eyes. "Sorry…". He laughed softly. "And stop apologising! What are you apologising for anyway? You did nothing wrong, stupid kitty!". "But… but I… and then you… because of me… and… then you… and I… I did absolutely nothing! Nothing!". "That's not true" he said firmly as a serious look appeared in his golden eyes. "You did do something. You held me, didn't you?". "When?" she asked, completely confused. What was he talking about? "In the end" he answered. She blinked as she thought back to that moment. That last moment. Yes, she held him. She cried for him. She cried out his name as if it would make him come back to life. It hurt, watching him die. It hurt again, watching him leave. Then it hurt again, remembering him. Yes… all of it had hurt…

This didn't hurt. Him holding her didn't hurt at all. It felt… good. Natural. As if it was meant to be like this.

Was that what he'd been trying to explain all this time? Was that why he thought they belonged together?

Oh, this was silly. She wasn't even sure he still felt like that towards her. What use was it to think about these feelings if they only hurt in the end?

"See?". She blinked herself back to reality, not knowing how deep her blush was, and looked him in the eye. He was still smiling. "You did do something. And you did far more… You allowed me to love you, Ichigo. That was all that I could ask for. And I'm truly grateful for that". "That's… that's just ridiculous…". "Ichigo?". "That's not enough… being allowed to love someone is not enough… It hurts, doesn't it? I said I hated you! That must have hurt, right? I hurt you, right? Then how… how can you say I did enough? I didn't do enough at all! I didn't give you what you wanted! I didn't give you what you deserved! You deserve more than being allowed to love someone! You deserve love too, Kisshu, you deserve love! Don't give up before you get it! To think… you actually thought that what I gave was enough… That's insane! Everyone deserves love! So do you!". Kisshu had watched this emotional outburst frozen, in extreme shock. What was she saying? What did she mean?

The girl shook her head and looked at him, slightly out of breath. He took her face in his hands. Her eyes widened. "So that's it then? I shouldn't give up before I get what I want? That's what you're saying?". "Y-yes…?". Ichigo's voice got a little higher and her fingers began to tremble. "Even if I say I want you? Your love? I still shouldn't give up before I get it?". "Uhm… yes?". He shook his head and smirked at her. "What would your boyfriend say of that?". "What boyfriend?" Ichigo asked, confused "I don't have a boyfriend…". Now Kisshu was confused and blinked. "That guy! You know, the one that tried to kill me all those times? The one that I tried to kill all those times? Two different forms? Tree-hugger?". "You mean Aoyama-kun?". "Yes! That guy! Aoyama!". "He's not my boyfriend anymore. For… I think… four years? Has it already been four years? Yes, it was the same year when Pudding had her thirteenth birthday party… Four years, then". "You haven't been together with him for four years already?". "Yes. Four years". "I could have taken you for four years already? Why didn't you tell me?". Kisshu threw up his hands in the air, golden eyes frustrated. Ichigo leaned backwards a little and tried to comprehend what he was saying. "Uhm, sorry, I guess?". He shook his head. "Really… People like you…". She gave him a worried look. "It's fine, it's fine… I overreacted a little… My bad…". He took her face back in his hands. "You do understand I won't let you leave for another few months, right?". "Now I do" Ichigo answered. He nodded. "Good, good. I'm going to kiss you now". "Wait, what?".

And he was kissing her. Ichigo blinked again and looked at his closed eyes. They were very, very close. She could feel his lips on hers and wondered a little about the feeling she had. Then she mentally shrugged her shoulders and returned his kiss. It was not like she had any objections left.

She thought she might have fallen in love again.

Then she realised she had.

She smiled through their kiss. He smirked back and pulled her closer. That's the last thing she remembers.


End file.
